I really want to know what people think of my story.?

well if you want to publish this,then i'd suggest you change your tone and use of language. sometimes,you're sentences make use of high vocabulary and good sensory details but it suddenly switches to everyday language that i'd use when talking to a friend. (e.x. "She was frozen to the spot, the noise had stopped, the only thing she heard in the background was the chirping birds, and very distant crickets. The girl pondered for a moment trying to figure out if she had the guts to check it out, or if it was some creature from the forest that would evidentially just smell her blood flowing threw her veins and come find her itself.") the change from when you went from after the crickets to the girl was really inconsistent,and a whole story written like that wouldn't be too good. also,if this is the beginning,things are happening waay too fast and unrealistic. like,why would the boy be in her living room in the 1st place? why wouldn't she try to call a doctor,even if he was insisting against it? or try to treat his wounds herself since he wouldn't let her?