Child Visitation Question, Ex hardly ever takes visits, son is special needs, needs routine?

The judge will DEFINITELY NOT take your ex's side. He has shown that he is not interested in being a father. It is not your responsibility to organise his visits. I've gone through similar things with my ex. We broke up when my son was 1 and he did not agree to a visitation schedule until almost a year later. During that time he took his son a total of 5 times - only two overnight. He always had excuses as to why he "couldn't" take him. He started the visitation after he moved into his mother's house and I know that she was really the one taking care of my son but regardless he was sticking to it. But now he's moved out of his mum's, and he's starting to ditch his visitation. Last weekend, he called on the day and said he "had to work". I found out later that he chose to work for the extra money. I feel that now he's not living with his mum, he is going to start missing visitation more often. Like you, I don't know whether to continue to let him set us up for disappointment, or just to say no. It's so unfair - they can choose not to use their visitation and there's nothing we can do but as soon as we say no you're not gonna let our kids down again, we're denying them their rights! It's garbage.